When I first started meditating I struggled with finding the time to fit my practice in. I compared myself to other mothers and parents a lot. Maybe the mothers who meditated regularly had more resources than I did, or a different temperament or maybe their kids required less than mine or maybe their kids were older, blah blah blah. The truth was that I actually did have the time but sometimes it felt easier to watch tv, or loo...
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Having OCD is hard. It makes us irrational, fearful, anxious, scared and small. It can make us hard headed, stubborn, and rigid. It makes us a lot of things that we don’t necessarily want to pass down to our children.
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I take a moment (or however long I need) to feel all the feelings that I have been trying to repress. Usually its fear and anxiety.
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With all the careful consideration I put into planning my future as a mother, I never factored in the possibility that I would struggle with my mental health while doing it.
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So how can we tell the difference between our intuition, or inner voice, which we are supposed to trust, and our OCD, which we are supposed to ignore? I have a few tips I’ve learned along the way.
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I never expect that my OCD will stay in the background because I know that recovery isn’t linear. So while it’s not surprising that I’m experiencing more regular symptoms again, it’s still annoying.
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Rumination is not something that happens to us. We actively engage in and participate in the rumination process. Sucks to hear it, but ya need to hear it.
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If you’ve been searching for answers I’m sure you’ve read that your best best for recovery is to do ERP with an OCD specialist. But what exactly does treatment require and how can you make the most out of the work you are doing with your therapist?
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What helped me to finally move past these relationship doubts was leaning into the idea that certainty doesn’t exist. The fact is we won’t ever know FOR SURE what the future holds. There is no way to predict the outcome of a relationship.
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I never expect that my OCD will stay in the background because I know that recovery isn’t linear. So while it’s not surprising that I’m experiencing more regular symptoms again, it’s still annoying.
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I’m just here to remind you that if religious holidays are triggering for your scrupulosity or religious OCD, you are not alone.
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If you’re still reading this, you will get better. Things will be OK. You can get through this moment, and the next and the next. This disorder is not the most remarkable thing about you either.
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My favorite thing to do when I’m feeling a little weird is make space for what I’m feeling then put on a nice dress and get on with it. When I’m feeling a little emotional (like right now), I try to keep these things in mind.
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